By now, many Twitter users have seen the #YesAllWomen hashtag that's been trending over the weekend in wake of the terrifying shooting that happened in Isla Vista Friday night. For those who have been away from the news, a 22 year old man went on a shooting rampage that was primarily fueled by his hatred and entitlement towards women. Many issues have been brought into the spotlight including the mens' rights movement, and pick-up-artists, both groups that are steeped in a vision of traditional masculinity and an intent to keep things that way.
As usual, unfortunately, when women speak up about what it's like to live in a society where others feel entitled to their bodies, some guys have responded by saying "not all men are like that". I can agree, but enough men are like that for women, including myself, to be the subject of unwanted advances and the worry over saying no to the wrong individual. Enough men are like that for women to be perpetually wary when out in public.
#YesAllWomen is important because as it caught on it gave women room to share their stories of male entitlement. It gave platform to illustrate the fact that as a society gender equality has a long way to go. Women shared stories about sexual assault, threats made towards them, the constant worry that just the act of going outside by yourself makes you subject to objectification. Even men have joined in to support the idea that yes, all women are people deserving of basic human respect.
As mentioned above, I have been subject to unwanted male attention. My first few weeks in Rochester a man tried to proposition me from his apartment window. Another man was after me for eight months, he didn't stop until I showed him my engagement ring, saying I had a boyfriend wasn't enough. I've heard the line, "I'm not a rapist," in response to a refusal to give out my number to a complete stranger. One man asked if he could follow me when I went out for a walk. Even with mentioning my status he still tries to talk to me when he sees me out and about. It's frightening to think I could say no to somebody one day and they'll assault me in some manner. Even worse, I might get told that I could have avoided such suffering if I just said yes. I shared my own stories and added to the voices who have had enough.
It's not just me though. I have a friend in Pittsburgh who gets called racist for turning men down. Another friend in Portland is dealing with a man who constantly buys her gifts despite her having a boyfriend. I saw a couple teenage girls get catcalled by some men on Monroe Ave one afternoon. The East Ave Rapist plead guilty a month ago after attacking two women last year, he also intended to kill one of them. Women everywhere have stories about the physical and verbal violence they face from men on a regular basis.
Of course not all men are like that. The ones who know about this behavior openly support the women in their lives, be they family, friends, or acquaintances. The men who don't, are horrified when they such stories. I think we should spread the conversation offline to raise awareness and take a stand. Nobody should have to feel like a piece of meat just for leaving the sanctuary of their home.
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